Friday, December 18, 2009

You really don't need children....

I stopped at Day Care yesterday to pick up Cookie.
And the guy in front of me....well, let's just be polite and say I HOPE he and his yuppie wife don't have children because if they do they will be just as neurotic as the guy and his three dogs.
To begin with:
The dog's names: Bailee, Sasha and Connor.
Now I am sorry but those are kid's names NOT dog names.
And I waited very patiently while this guy explained at great length about the dogs and their quirky habits :
Bailee had to be fed as early as possible or he would throw up.
Connor was on Prozac.
Sasha had to have water mixed with her food because she wouldn't drink any other water.

He went on and on and on.
He had 3 pages of instructions.
He had everything explained and mapped out.
He had all their food and medicine in individual pouches.

Now, don't get me wrong.
We baby Cookie as much as the next guy.
I cook her chicken and rice.
We take her to day care.
She has here special toys that she loves.

But I am worried about this guy and his yuppie wife,
Bailee, Connor and Sasha.
I think they will be working on adopting a Chinese baby soon.
And the will name her Brittney Laura.
And they will play Mozart and buy her Baby Einstein videos.
She will have designer clothes and a $700 top of the line ATV stroller
They will make their own baby food in a Cuisinart Food Processor.
And she will be on Ritalin for her ADHD when she is 5 years old.
(And she will be in therapy until she's 30......)

HELP!! Maybe this is how it all starts!!!!


garnett109 said...

or feed her dog food

Anonymous said...

"Tube Air" which is visible in several small Asics Tiger circles on the midsole of the shoe, "Total Air" which is basically just another word for full Air Max cushioning, "Tuned Air," Hogan Shoes which is a system of individual pods supposedly "tuned" to different areas of the foot. Air in the early 1990s which was visible through the bottom of the shoe (although smaller portions of Air units are visible through the bottom of many Air Max models) and another type of Air cushioning is the low profile and very responsive "Zoom Air." Franklin Marshall Sale The symbols of air cushioning is the 1993 model, which the first to have the fully visible heel Air unit that was visible in the back as well as on the sides.