Sunday, November 1, 2009

Children and Bars

It is a rainy Sunday.
I go out to have a quiet pleasant day all to myself.
And I want to have a quiet lunch.
So I drive all the way downtown to the university district and I go to a place that I KNOW is a slightly grungy college bar to eat.
Bar food. Twenty-two year old waitresses. Peanuts with shells thrown on the floor.
I think it is safe.
But what do I find??
Yuppies and their adorable (so they think....) CHILDREN (shudder).

Please.
Yuppie parents.
Please do NOT bring your little children to bars to eat.

Babies and toddlers do not belong in a bar.
I'm sorry.
If I cannot carry my gun in a place that has a bar or serves alcohol, you should not be able to bring your children either.
And maybe you should have to get a permit to have children.
I had to get a permit to carry my gun.

What was supposed to be a quiet lunch at a BAR turned out to be an adventure in baby-sitting.
Now, it is no secret that I do not like children.
I do not want to be around them.
I don't think they are cute or adorable.
I do not find them amusing or entertaining.
I find them irritating and annoying.
I do not understand them, I cannot communicate with them.
They are foreign little creatures to me.
They are aliens.

I think there should be safe, child free zones for people like me.
Like bars. Dark, slightly grungy bars where you order greasy food and throw peanut shells on the floor.
A bar is no place for a child.
I don't care how cute and adorable you think they are.


They don't belong in a bar.


4 comments:

salemslot9 said...

have you always felt this way about children?
not just about bars
just wondered...

Sunny said...

Yes...

Madame K said...

This exact scenario happened to me once in Brooklyn 2 years ago. I couldn't agree with you more even if I tried real real hard.

I love kids......to stay away from me.

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