I just want some cereal, dammit.

Okay..here's the deal.

Nine times out of ten when I come home late after playing golf or shopping or running errands, all I want for dinner is cereal. And maybe some toast.

But I wind up eating other stuff. "dinner" stuff.

And then I'm sorry afterwards and I eat my cereal anyway.

Which is what I wanted in the first place.

I have decided that I am going to buy a couple of extra boxes of cereal at the commissary tomorrow and when I WANT cereal for dinner, I will HAVE cereal for dinner.

How about that, Mr. Fung?

I guess I'm not a Noodle girl.

I played golf this evening.
By myself.
Eighteen holes.
I actually like playing alone.
It's quiet.
It's peaceful.
I find golf to be very introspective and relaxing.
When I am by myself.
But..I took all new golf balls this evening.
Noodle balls.
And I hated them.
I like my Nike balls.
I like my Topfiltes.
I like my Calloways.
I guess I am just not a Noodle girl
Sorry Noodle balls.

Does not play well with others.

Okay...yesterday was the WORST game of "golf" (I am using the term loosely) that I have had since we joined the golf club last year.
Now, I will grant you, I am not the best golfer on the planet.
I am fair, at best.
BUT...I like to actually PLAY.
I would like to get better.
I like to practice.
And I would like to improve.
Yesterday was a fiasco and I will NOT do it again.
It was supposed to be "Ladies' Golf".
There IS NO LADIES' GOLF OUT THERE<>

Here's what we did:
There were 3 of us.
My new friend Liz, who is a very sweet person, a lot of fun but a super novice.
Then there was the woman who works out at the club.
She works there so she is always around.
And she can actually hit a golf ball but her heart really isn't in it.
She shows up with 45 minutes to play (because she has to go back to her hairdresser and finish getting her hair done).
She is wearing flip-flops.
And she is CONSTANTLY on her cell phone.

So we get carts.
I hardly ever take a cart because the walking is really good for me.
But it's no biggie.
I get a cart and off we go.

On the first hole, everything was okay but I didn't get the impression that anybody was really terribly interested in what we were doing. (I kinda KNEW it was going downhill from there.)

We noticed a guy behind us teeing up on the first hole.
We thought we'd be polite and let him go ahead.
Well, he was so drunk, he could barely drive the cart, let alone hit the ball.
He couldn't even walk straight.

So as slow as we were, we just let him stagger around and we went on our way.
The cell phone kept ringing.
We couldn't hit the ball ten feet.
It was hot.
Nothing was going well.

I was getting more and more annoyed.
I was trying to have a little fun but I couldn't focus and I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't practice the things I've been learning.

Flip-Flop Lady and our new friend were gossiping, totally distracted.
There were redneck drunks playing golf in tank tops.
There was a group of five ahead of us.
We couldn't get around them.
Drunk guy was behind us.
We tried everything to get rid of him.
Couldn't do it.

We got to the second Par 3 hole.
I tired making a little bet to make it interesting.
A whole dollar for who ever go closest to the hole.
That was fine but nobody really cared,
They just each gave me a dollar after they hit their balls into the stream.
That made it real interesting, huh?
I took the dollars.

Flip-flop lady's cell phone rang.
It was her hairdresser.
She had to quit.
And go finish getting her hair done.

I was left with Beginner Lady which was fine because I like her.
We tried going back around and playing an extra hole that we'd messed up earlier.
Ran into 3 young college-aged guys.
Obnoxious.
Careening around in the carts.
We went around them.

Tried the stream again.
No bet this time.
Had another intimidating (but redneck polite) groupd of FIVE ahead of us.
NOTHING WAS WORKING>

This was the busiest I have ever seen the place on a Sunday evening.
It was crazy.
It was annoying.
It was frustrating.

We finally gave up and quit.
We are playing Heat Stroke Golf this afternoon at 1:00.
It is supposed to be 95 degrees.
HOPEFULLY no one else will be out there.
Hopefully we won't pass out and die.

But MAYBE we can actually PLAY a few rounds of golf.
Practice a little.
Try to get better at golf, not spend our time avoiding drunks.

I am really starting to get annoyed with that place.
I KNOW other golf courses that are higher on the food chain would NOT tolerate that kind of crap.

Can't we all just get along?

Okay..here's the problem with large groups of people (or even small groups for that matter):
Somebody is always bitching about something and you can't make everyone happy.

Last week, I was miffed at the golf course because of the $25 the guy suddenly decided to charge (sorry..not "charge"..it was a donation) for his "free" golf lessons and I refused to take the lessons. I really don't have any extra $25 for what I thought were going to be "free" lessons and I thought he should have requested the "donation" up front rather than waiting until he had 10 people interested and then say "Oh, by the way, I would really like a $25 "donation". It just made me mad. I felt like I'd been put in an awkward, embarrassing position and I wasn't going to cough up his $25.

Then, on Sunday, I went out for "Women's Golf" (which usually consists of me and only me even though I have been lobbying for months for more women to come out and play), Well, you can imagine how delighted I was when two women showed up, wanting to play Sunday women's golf. It was great fun. They were a little obnoxious. They were a little rowdy but they could actually PLAY. They could actually hit the ball further than 10 feet and I enjoyed playing with them. It was fun but the 4th woman who works at the golf course and sometimes plays on Sundays didn't show up. we called her a couple of times but she said she wasn't coming out. Okay. No problem. I was excited just to have someone actually show up. well, When I saw her on Monday (the woman who didn't show up) I told her what a good time we had, she said to me, "Well, it's just as well I wasn't here because I know those women and I can't stand one of them. I won't play with her."
So much for fun Women's Golf in Sunday.

It's always something with somebody out there.
I'm starting to think it's easier just to play on my own.

Can't we all just get along?

Epiphany

I guess it happened when I was in Las Vegas.
I really needed a break, more than I ever realized.
But I had a bit if an epiphany.
And I actually feel better and I am so much more relaxed.
What was it?
I finally realized that I cannot fight Crazyfriend and her sleazy smarmy boyfriend anymore.
I cannot fight his influence over her, no matter how negative it is.
He has sucked her down into the black hole of his universe and she has been a willing participant.
I can't fight it and I can't live with the cognitive dissonance that she is trying to balance.
I can't pretend that everything is "okay" because it's not.
So I have given up even trying to fight this.
And y'know what??
I feel so much better.
I will be polite.
I will be available.
I won't be angry.
I won't be frustrated.
He is her problem.
She owns it, not me.
Gee..I feel soooo much better.

So many subjects, So little time...

Okay.. I can't elaborate on these things but they are what's on my mind this morning.
I will come back later and fill in the blanks.. ...

1: WHY don't people put tags or collars or ID on their dogs???
Okay... this is really sad but there just wasn't anything I could do.
On the way home from the golf course last evening, there was some one's obviously much loved pet, a beautiful Basset hound sadly trotting down the side of a super busy two lane highway. I wanted to stop and try to get him (he wasn't a hunting dog he was clearly a pet) but the traffic was so busy, I couldn't stop. But I did clearly see that he had no collar, no tags, no ID, This was sooo sad because I suspect his owners didn't even realize that he'd gotten out. Unfortunately, I couldn't get him and even if I could have I couldn't have found his owner. I think he was coming from one of the subdivisions along the way. Sad sad sad. I thought about him all night. I doubt if he made it very long. It was a very busy highway. I feel so bad for him.


2: A Goodwill moratorium for the month of June.
Shopping at the Goodwill Store. Now I LOVE shopping at the Goodwill Store. I can find so many great bargains there. We have two within about 3 miles of each other. But I am getting overrun with clothes and I just don't need anything else for a while. So I have declared a moratorium on Goodwill shopping for the month of June. No Goodwill shopping.
I went yesterday for on last ditch shopping spree. I spent $11 and I got a nice pair of pants, a pair of shorts, a polo shirt, two T-shirts and a rug.
So that's it for a little while..
June is No Shopping at Goodwill Month for me.

3: Redneck Golf.
Talk about tacky. I played golf late in the evening. I had a really good time.
I was by myself, I took my time, I was enjoying myself. I was really trying to work on my game. It was late in the evening and I was the only one on the course. Or so I thought. I couldn't help noticing the pair coming up a couple of holes behind me. They were clearly playing their version of Redneck Golf. They were walking. (The guy at the club house would not give them a cart because it was so late and he didn't want to have to wait for them.) One of them was shirtless (tacky you just don't play golf SHIRTLESS) and they were cursing F*** this and F*** that as they hit the ball 10 feet at a time.
If it had been earlier in the day I would have called up to the clubhouse and reported them. as it was I just ignored them, finished up and just mentioned their tacky behavior to the clubhouse guy as I was leaving.
Please people. Don't play Redneck Golf.

4: What are people thinking when they leave the house?
I went to lunch yesterday. There was a woman there with her husband and little boy. She was wearing a bathing suit and jeans, using the top of the bathing suit like a tank top. It was obviously a bathing suit. What do people think when they look in the mirror before they leave the house? Or wait maybe they just don't bother to look in the mirror. That must be what it is. I give up.

5: Dachshund's gone a-fishing.
Our little dog has discovered our pond fish. She is obsessing about them now. She has been terrorizing the poor little fish. she gets up on the side of the pond and tries to get them. The other day, she was putting her face in the water with bubbles blowing out her her nose, trying to bite the fish. Every time she goes outside now, she heads straight for the fish pond. It's scaring the fish.

6: Of COURSE they are following a formula. That's the idea!

I have been looking for a new book to read. I can't find anything I am terribly interested in. But I found one and I looked it up on Amazon to read some reviews on it. One of the reviewers wrote.. "characters are predictable, plot is the usual fare. It feels like the author is just following a formula..."

Of course it feels like the author is following a formula. These are FORMULA DRIVEN books. That is the nature of the genre.

What a moron.

7: $25 is NOT free.

Okay..here's another golf complaint. A fellow out at our golf course was offering to give "free" golf lessons to the women who play out there. He's a teacher and coaches the local high school JV golf team. He said he was bored over the summer and he didn't have anything to do and he really enjoyed teaching golf. There was a sign up sheet at the club house for his "free" golf lessons on Tuesdays. So okay, before I went to Vegas, I signed up. For "free" lessons.

When I got back, I talked to some of the women who play out there and suddenly his "free" golf lessons came with a $25 price tag. He said it was a "one time 'donation' to buy equipment for his JV team/

well, guess what. I really think he should have said that before he said he would give "free" lessons.

I really don't have an extra $25 to donate to his JV team.

I guess I won't be taking his " free" lessons.

Be back later. Too much stuff to do this morning. Okay, I'm fine.

I just wanted him to look at it.

Well, my husband just doesn't get it.
MEN don't get it.
He has been looking for a new car.
His old one is shot. It is 17 years old and a mess.
Mechanically it was okay but otherwise, it was shot and well overdue in need of replacing.
I wanted him to LOOK around at other vehicles.
Go to a few dealers.
Shop around and see what was out there, what he might like, what his options were.
Okay....no problem, right?

So a couple of days ago, we went to lunch and I happened to see a really nice looking dark blue GMC Yukon at a dealership on the way to lunch.'
The price was in the ball park.
So I mentioned it to hubby.
I said it looks really nice, it's a BIG vehicle.
Let's go look at it.

He said okay, even though it wasn't what he had in mind/
He'd go look.
well, he looked at it.
And he drove it.
And he decided (without me pushing him in any way) that he really liked it.

Then we went home without making any kind of a commitment and I hoped he would look around some more.
Well, when we go home, he got on the computer and he found another GMC Yukon, same year and $1000 less at another dealership across town.

So he called about it, and OFF we go.'
He looked at this second one.
It was in much better shape than the first one.
It had 30,000 fewer miles.
And it was $1000 less.

So off he went.
He took it to our mechanic.
The mechanic said it was in fine shape and a very nice vehicle.
And then next thing I know, hubby is calling me to tell me he's at the bank.
I tried to talk him out of it, expressing my reluctance since even though It was a VERY nice vehicle, it was a lot of $$$$ and maybe he should just LOOK a little more.

Apparently that is a concept that is totally foreign to him (and to most men, I must add.)

Guess what??

The truck (yes, it IS a truck and it is HUGE) is in our driveway.

it is very nice, it drives very nicely and it is roomy and comfortable.
He likes it.

I HOPE it turns out to be a good car because.....it's ours now/