Why can't I just talk to my doctor?

I am a very unhappy camper tonight.

Now, I will be the first to admit. I hate going to the doctor.

I will avoid it at all costs and do everything I can to not go.

I don't have anything against doctors personally.

I know they are generally sincere, very hardworking and dedicated.

They do the best they can.

And if you have an emergency with something they can actually FIX like my broken ankle last summer, they are certainly nice to have around.

But my question is this:

Why can't I just talk to my doctor?

Have you ever seen the Viagra commercials where the guy is sitting at a desk in a nice big office, relaxed and fully dressed, discussing his need for Viagra?

And they stand up and shake hands and all his questions are answered.

They are both smiling.

He's happy.

The doctor is happy.

Everyone is happy.

I am not happy.

Now I have lots of issues and questions and concerns lately

That I've had for a while and I thought I was ready to discuss them with my doctor.

That I would like to be able to sit down in a nice big office with my doctor, relaxed at his desk.

I'd like to be fully dressed and not embarrassed, without nurses and PA's waltzing around.

just want to talk and ask questions about the things that are bothering me.

But I went to my doctor's office this morning.

To get some lab work done.

And it is so painfully obvious that something like that is NEVER going to happen.

The place was a zoo.

There were patients everywhere.

The lab was backed up.

I saw my doctor and he was literally scampering (he couldn't actually break into a run) down the hall to see his next patient out of......maybe 6 or 8 he had to see.

And he didn't know who he was going to see until he grabbed the chart out of the rack on the door.

He said hello to me.

He even answered a question that I had (and I did an end run around the nurse to ask him).

But he was frantically busy.

He could barely take a breath.

And I want to him to take the time to "talk" with me.

Ha. Who am I kidding?

My annual physical is in a couple of weeks.

And I don't even want to go.

Because here is how it will go:

Nurse:Follow me to the exam room.

Nurse: Take off all your clothes.

Nurse: Get your height weight and vital signs.

Me: Sit there uncomfortably in this little grey room wearing a crumpled paper gown for oh, say......15 or 20 minutes.

Doctor comes in.

Him: How are you? Me: Fine

Him: Everything okay? Me: Yeah

Him: Any changes? Me: No

Him: Your medicine okay? Me: Yeah

Him: Is there anything you need? Me: Not really.

Him: Okay, lie down, let me have a look.

Him: Okay see you next year.

No nice big desk.

No clean comfortable office.

No relaxed atmosphere.

No reassuring talk.

Just a rushed 30 minute visit with quick answers, tests that I don't want or need and a vaguely dissatisfied, uncomfortable feeling after I leave.

I don't want to go.

I guess the only doctor you actually get to "talk" to is a psychiatrist.