Wednesday, October 28, 2009

You bring out the worst in me.....

Well, she did it to me again.

I spent the day with CrazyFriend yesterday.
It was supposed to be a pleasant day st a charming restaurant for my birthday.
well, to make a long story short, at the end of the day, CrazyFriend did it to me again.

We drove 70 miles to Fort Mill and spent the entire afternoon having a leisurely lunch with another friend at a very laid back, lovely place.
We talked and told stories. We had chicken salad sandwiches and cheesecake.
It was very nice

Until the 70 mile ride home started.

Now, I KNOW this is going to happen....It happens every time.

It happens every time I am trapped in a car with her for longer than 30 minutes and we launch into an endless, pointless circular discussion about her "boyfriend" and I wind up getting angry.

I try to be the kind, understanding supportive friend.

But then:
I turn into the guy,
I never really thought I would understand how guys feel or think but I become the guy in this relationship.
I know I'm right but I get so frustrated with her, I wind up raising my voice.
I say things I know are right but I regret the way I say them because I am at the end of my rope with her.
And then I hate myself for losing it...

She brings out the worst in me..

I TRY not to lose it.
I try to saty calm.
I do everything I can.

I think I should have been granted sainthood a LONG time ago because I have been more patient with CrazyFriend than anyone else on the planet.

But then I finally go over the line.

Want to know what finally tore it this time?

Thirty-five years. That's how long I've been married.
Forty years......that's how long our other friend who had lunch with us has been married to her husband.

And as we were driving home, CrazyFriend, who went through a perfectly miserable 5 year marriage and a nasty divorce (and now looking back on it, I can see that a lot of it was HER fault, not the poor guy she was married too although he wasn't exactly a prize either..) and is currently in a "relationship" with a freeloading con man who is living in her house as her "boyfriend" and spending all her money,

Well, what started out as a question as to why we never use our fireplace.....CrazyFriend began her dreamy speech of "Gee...wouldn't it be nice if you could use you fireplace so you and your husband could go back in time and renew your relationship?"

Uuuuhhhhhh..NO. My relationship is just fine, thank you very much.

That's what tore it for me.
CrazyFriend and her dispensing of self-righteous advice on "relationships".

What a joke.

Constantly telling other people how to live their lives when her life is so totally screwed up and she won't fix it.

Yes, I got angry.
I yelled.
Yes. I lost it and I yelled.
I said a number of things I'm sorry I said..not because I said anything wrong.
I didn't.
I didn't say anything that was wrong or untrue or inaccurate.. but because of the way I said them.
And because of the fact that I know I am going to lose it every time we do this.

And when we got back.
CrazyFriend was meek and quiet. Subservient.
Now I know how the abusive guy feels when she just takes it.
When she won't call the police or seek help.
She's a doormat. She makes excuses.
She'll take any kind of abuse and then just go on as if it never happened.

I just hate being the guy.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Cookie the Graduate.

Obedience School 101:

We are very proud of our little dog, Cookie.

She graduated from obedience school this morning.

Sit. Stay. Heel. Sit. Stay. Heel.

She didn't do all that well because she was so sick for about 3 out of the 6 weeks, and just really couldn't get with the program.

I think her graduation was more a social promotion than one on merit but nonetheless, she graduated.

The graduation ceremony was somewhat disappointing, although it was much like most graduation ceremonies.

The instructor gave a too long, boring talk for nearly an hour and then a demonstration of her dog's remarkable abilities (he is pretty amazing). Then we got to walk around the arena once and we were done.

It was slightly disappointing though, because they forgot the certificates and said if we wanted one, they would mail it to us.

I don't think obedience is Cookie's forte.

She is better at sleep, eat, be cute.

But I would be willing to bet that if I spent 6 months with her and worked at it seriously, with just her and me, we could do all the stuff we were supposed to learn in the last 6 weeks.

Higher education just isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

I wonder if she should work on her masters degree.....

(Countdown: 25 days)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Surgery, shopping and $20 a month.

Well, it's been a pretty busy week.

I had my outpatient surgery on Thursday to remove one of the screws from my ankle. It wasn't so bad. The worst part was getting there at 6 a.m. And that worked out just fine because I was first on the surgery schedule so I was done by 8:30 and out of there by 9:00.

The doctor was right. It was very minor (I just have a little band-aid on my ankle) but I still had to do the whole surgery thing...NPO after midnight, the anesthesia, feeling like crap for a day. But that is done. I've got the screw (it's not as big as I thought it was going to be) and hopefully, the doctor will turn my loose after the next visit.

My ankle is still a little sore but I don't think it's quite as stiff as it was with the screw in it..

I don't know. It might just be my imagination.


I've decided that I am going to spend $20 a month on something for someone else.

I don't know why I have made this decision. I just got to thinking about all the junk I buy and all the lunches I eat out. And I realized that I never buy stuff for other people.

So I decided that I am going to try to spend $20 a month for a treat or a surprise that they don't expect for someone else.

I started last week. I bought my friend Russell a little Mr. Coffee coffee maker.

He said he has started to enjoy coffee again.

He's a single guy who lives alone in a very small cottage.

So I bought him a nice little 4 cup coffee maker (just enough for himself in the morning.)

I haven't seen him yet but I will give it to him next week when we have lunch.

I think $20 a month is a pretty doable amount.

And it will make someone happy.


I don't get the Janet Evanovich thing.

I tried to read a couple of her books.

I tried to like them but I never could.

She is up to number fifteen now and it looks like she is running out of steam.

I think that happens when writers try to carry on a series just a little too long.

Out of 400 reviews on Amazon, her last book got 120 negative reviews.

The same thing happened to another author who I really liked, Jill Churchill.

Her last book that she phoned in was a flop and a fiasco.

People.....You're successful authors. You've worked hard and you are NOT lazy.
You should KNOW that when the jokes and quirky characters are overdone, when you can't come up with a coherent is time to move on.

Don't embarrass yourself by churning out another potboiler that could have been written by drunken monkeys.


Today? I feel fairly good. I am going to take a shower and get all this surgery related stuff scrubbed off and try to look and feel like a human being. I guess all I'll need is a band-aid on the little incision. We are going to go to lunch and just wander around in our usual aimless fashion. I wish I had something to do that actually had some direction. I don't. I would love to have a little business again but I don't know what I could do. A friend of mine makes jewelry.

I wish I had a talent or a skill like that. I would like to write or paint or travel. Oh well. right now it's lunch and the bookstore. That's good too.


Murdering little girls:

This is becoming a very sick dangerous epidemic in our country, I can't believe this has happened twice in one week, with little girls less than a mile from their homes, walking home from school or out playing. What is WRONG with people and why do we continue to mollycoddle these predators? I think the hand-holding tearful candlelight vigils are a waster of time and resources. If all these people can get together to hold hands, sing Kum-By-Ya and light about if they get out and do something? Make safe houses. Check the neighborhood. Be alert. DO something. Just get adults outside on the routes to school. I don't even LIKE kids but this is sick and deeply disturbing.



Okay..enough is enough.

I have to think seriously about getting out and getting everyone fed.

And I have to figure out what I am going to wear.

Crazyfriend will be here to look after everyone so we can go out.

Countdown to the Missy Good hat:
26 days

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Coming down off an insane high.....

Well, I don't know what the deal was, why I was so wired but yesterday was like a bi-polar manic. I was totally off the charts all day, starting from 6 o'clock in the morning when I woke up until I fianlly collapsed in a heap at 9 o'clock last night. And as I totally expected, I woke up this morning with a migraine and now I feel like I was drug through the hedge backwards.

But it was interesting. I went to lunch and shopping (wildly shopping, not just shopping shopping.) And that was after singing all morning, breezing into the hairdresser's, getting my haircut, jabbering endlessly about my trip to Florida and making the rounds in Target (but not buying anything in record time.

I had lunch at Cracker Barrel with CrazyFriend. She bought lunch which was nice and I was still wired. I don't know if my coffee had extra caffiene in it (I only had my regular two cups) but I was WIRED> We went to Penney's. I wanted a pair of new brown dress trousers (my linen ones I had for the summer finally died). I found a pair but I couldn't bring myself to put them on my charge card so CrazyFriend bought them for me for my birthday which is on Monday. That was fine with me. Birthday present seems like a valid reason and I did want new brown dress trousers.

After Penney's, we went to the drug store (like I needed drugs....) and I got a prescription filled. while we were waiting for the script, we stopped at the Goodwill Store. I bought a Swedish army jacket (I kid you not) which I love and two books, one for CrazyFriend and one for anther friend who I am having brunch with this morning. (Oh I did give CrazyFriend a really nice cookbook and a box of tea so that balanced out the trousers...) I love my Swedish army jacket.

We went to Wally World where I somehow managed to buy $33 worth of stuff (I cannot figure It where that $33 worth of stuff is....) AND I bought a little Mr. Coffee coffee maker for another friend who has been complaining that I got him started back on coffee when he stayed with us out here for a couple of days last summer when he had knee surgery. It's a very cute little coffee maker, just enough for one or two cups. He's a single guy who lives alone and I think it will be perfect for him. I also bought a bunch of other stuff ($33 worth) but don't ask me where or what it was....)

And after Wally world, we went back to Target. I wanted to get a DVD of Little Miss Sunshine to send to cousin Suzie but I couldn't find one. But I did get a pair of Halloween socks with skulls on them and some shoe laces with pink stars on them. I like those too.

We were in the jeep and is was cool and breezy and a gorgeous day. I was still wired when I picked up Cookie from day care. I don't know what the deal was. It was a crazy, crazy day for me. I KNEW I would be crashing and waking up with a migraine this morning and I was right. I feel like crap right now. I took an Imitrex this morning at 5 a.m. and I had some toast and coffee.

Hopefully, today will be a quieter day. At least not a frantic, manic roller coaster like yesterday was. Damn. It was almost scary. But I think I'm okay now;..This morning I am supposed to have brunch with my friend who also broke her ankle. She went to the Blue Ridge Parkway the same time I went to Florida but her trip got rained out. Bummer. They came home early. Oh well. to get everyone fed and get ready to go.

I HOPE I am not a raving lunatic today.
(I haven't been singing at the top of my lungs at 6 a.m. so maybe I'll be okay...)

AND...I have decided that this is the year I am going to buy a Missy Good hat.
Finally. After years and years of thinking about it.....
This year I am committed to buying a Missy Good hat.

Friday, October 9, 2009

You want a little music?

Well, I had a very interesting day today.
I love my new car. I put the top down all the time and it is fun to drive.
But the CD player has been giving me fits.
While I was out today, I decided to mess with the buttons and it suddenly quit.
At least the sound quit.
I knew the CD was playing but there was no sound.
It drove me crazy all day.
I fussed with it. I fiddled with it.
No sound, no way.
Then I went to the feed store to get some Calf Manna for Persimmon.
To get there, I had to drive up their bumpy gravel drive.
And guess what??
I suddenly had SOUND.
(There must be a short somewhere....)

You want a little music?
Pardon me while I take this bumpy road!

Monday, October 5, 2009

So...what exactly does it mean to "suck the life"out of something?

Yeah, yeah I know this is a favorite expression that men use to describe their vindictive ex-wives or ex-girlfriends who refuse to be fun, adventurous or understanding. It's a guy thing.
But I am pretty sure I have a good understanding of the definition and if the phrase were in the dictionary, CrazyFriend's picture would be next to it.

She has been working overtime for the last few days at "sucking the life" out of everything and it is making me very stressed out and unhappy. I can understand what guys are talking about. Apparently, sucking the life" out of things is one of the few things she does well. Very well.

Usually, I would be very excited about an upcoming trip. I am very good at planning the logistics of a trip and I enjoy the planning almost as much the actual event. So I figured my trip to Florida next week to visit my golf buddy would be fun. I've never been to Florida and I've been looking forward to going there, as well as seeing my golf buddy. But apparently, I have made a few mistakes along the way and right now, I don't even want to go. I think that CrazyFriend has "sucked the life" out of this little 4 day adventure.

I asked her to go with me for two reasons. One was to have some company on the 6 hour drive, and the second was to get her to share expenses with me and basically, cut the cost of the trip in half. Fairly good reasons, right? Okay.

Everything went to hell in a hand basket. CrazyFriend invited Cousin Sally to come along (with out my knowledge_) Now don't get me wrong. I LIKE Cousin Sally... I like her alot (I like her better than CrazyFriend, actually..she is fun and smart and SANE). But the problem was having 3 people going totally changed the logistics of the trip. Totally. We would have to take a different vehicle, we would have to change how we split the finances and we would have to change the accommodations.

Everything changed. But CrazyFriend decided (on her own) that this would be a good opportunity for Cousin Sally to "get away for a little while because it would do her good". Okay. And Cousin Sally called me saying she would be glad to come along and it would be a nice trip.....what was I supposed to say???? (No..I really wanted you to go to Las Vegas with me in December but whatever...." I explained to her the purpose of the trip so there wouldn't be any surprises. "No we are NOT going to the beach or to DisneyWorld or the Kennedy Space Center. We are going to cheer up a very sad and lonely 70 year old lady...)

Then we started looking at hotels in the area, that's when the "life-sucking" really started. I have trouble sleeping. I am up at 2 or 3 in the morning, I watch TV, I will read a little, I will have a snack and I am pretty much up most of the night. CrazyFriend KNOWS this and I have traveled with her so she is well aware of my nocturnal habits. Well, she chose yesterday to start whining about it in her )nails-on-a-blackboard" tone and I was ready to call off the whole trip. She wanted me to get a suite for the three of us. Two beds and a sleeper sofa.That might have been okay for one night. Three nights? No way. And she started with her self=righteous whining. "You are just going to have to figure out a way to sleep. You don't have to turn on the 'idiot-box' (that's her favorite expression when she hates the TV). you can play on your computer (I HATE when she says "play on the computer......" You're the one with the problem. We are fine with it. You're the only one with a problem sharing a room......"

Well, dammit, yes I AM the one with the problem sharing a room and I am NOT going to listen to you bitch when I want to turn on the TV or read my book or take a shower.. Damn I was angry and exhausted and ready to just give up on the whole thing. I think the life had been sucked out of it. SO after an exhausting search on Priceline and every hotel web site and calling locally, I just said. "Look we are getting TWO rooms. Period." She was mad that I wanted to do that. Too bad CrazyFriend. And I booked two rooms at a cheap place rather that the one at a really nice place on the beach that I would have had if the two of us had gone. It is a cheap place but it kept the cost down and I just don't think I want to spend a whole lot of money of this trip. It was getting stupider and stupider.

By the time CrazyFriend left here yesterday (and I had to railroad her out of here, she didn't want to leave and go home to her freeloading boy friend) I was exhausted, unhappy and I had a migraine that I still had this morning when I woke up. I do not feel good about this trip. Usually when I plan a trip, I have the logistics down perfectly. I know where I am going and when and I even know what I am going to wear and where I am going to eat. I feel like I have lost control of this whole thing and I wish I hadn't even asked CrazyFriend to go or have any part in it in the first place.

But I have learned the meaning of "She sucks the life out of everything she touches.."
Look it up in the dictionary.
CrazyFriend's picture will be right there.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

If you say "You guys..." one more time.

Well, I had been looking forward to yesterday for a while and it turned out to be a bit of a bust.

I had planned on taking my friend who also broke her ankle out for a nice drive and lunch somewhere in town but the day started out badly and finished up on a negative note too so it was a no-win situation the entire way around.

The tone for the day was set when my friend had been abandoned at the doctor's office by her step-daughter who known for her lack of judgement on occasion. It was a bit of an unfortunate mix-up and the tension between them was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The day did NOT start on a good note.

And my stomach was still soooo upset from my chicken salad escapades the day before I could hardly stand it. I had gone through Alka-Seltzer and it was so bad I even resorted to Pepto-Bismol (ugh you KNOW it was bad if I went that far...)

We ran a few simple errands and then headed for what I thought was going to be a lovely lunch at a high-end place called Miyo's/ Fancy asian food and it is usually very good and a nice treat.

Unfortunately, with my broken stomach and our useless moron of a waiter and the food being only fair (which is most unusual) lunch was a disaster.


If you are in a high-end restaurant and your customers are two women who are both old enough to be your mother DO NOT>>>I repeat DO NOT address them at anytime during the meal as "You guys..." ("Can I get you guys anything else?")
If at anytime you do that to me YOU CAN FORGET ANY KIND OF A TIP. Period.
If you disappear for long periods of time and do not check on me....even worse.
If you give me ice tea WITH NO ICE IN THE GLASS...Forget it.
If my food is not prepared the way I asked for may not be your fault but too bad. I'm blaming you anyway.

That's exactly what went on yesterday.

If I am at a college bar in the university district having a hamburger and french fries, I don't mind (You guys"_). If I am at a nice place paying $12 for lunch, I expect "Ladies" or Ma'am" at the least.

So anyway.......Yesterday was a bit of a disaster all the way around. Plus my friend in Florida called and she is so anxious for me to come and visit her. I am going to try and go on either the 11th or the 18th of this month and visit with her for a couple of days. That's another unfortunate situation all the way around. Jeeeezzz Sometimes life just sucks.

Okay enough ranting and pointless rambling.

Yesterday sucked.

Hopefully today will be a better day.