Well, she did it to me again.
I spent the day with CrazyFriend yesterday.
It was supposed to be a pleasant day st a charming restaurant for my birthday.
well, to make a long story short, at the end of the day, CrazyFriend did it to me again.
We drove 70 miles to Fort Mill and spent the entire afternoon having a leisurely lunch with another friend at a very laid back, lovely place.
We talked and told stories. We had chicken salad sandwiches and cheesecake.
It was very nice
Until the 70 mile ride home started.
Now, I KNOW this is going to happen....It happens every time.
It happens every time I am trapped in a car with her for longer than 30 minutes and we launch into an endless, pointless circular discussion about her "boyfriend" and I wind up getting angry.
I try to be the kind, understanding supportive friend.
I turn into the guy,
I never really thought I would understand how guys feel or think but I become the guy in this relationship.
I know I'm right but I get so frustrated with her, I wind up raising my voice.
I say things I know are right but I regret the way I say them because I am at the end of my rope with her.
And then I hate myself for losing it...
She brings out the worst in me..
I TRY not to lose it.
I try to saty calm.
I do everything I can.
I think I should have been granted sainthood a LONG time ago because I have been more patient with CrazyFriend than anyone else on the planet.
But then I finally go over the line.
Want to know what finally tore it this time?
Thirty-five years. That's how long I've been married.
Forty years......that's how long our other friend who had lunch with us has been married to her husband.
And as we were driving home, CrazyFriend, who went through a perfectly miserable 5 year marriage and a nasty divorce (and now looking back on it, I can see that a lot of it was HER fault, not the poor guy she was married too although he wasn't exactly a prize either..) and is currently in a "relationship" with a freeloading con man who is living in her house as her "boyfriend" and spending all her money,
Well, what started out as a question as to why we never use our fireplace.....CrazyFriend began her dreamy speech of "Gee...wouldn't it be nice if you could use you fireplace so you and your husband could go back in time and renew your relationship?"
Uuuuhhhhhh..NO. My relationship is just fine, thank you very much.
That's what tore it for me.
CrazyFriend and her dispensing of self-righteous advice on "relationships".
What a joke.
Constantly telling other people how to live their lives when her life is so totally screwed up and she won't fix it.
Yes, I got angry.
Yes. I lost it and I yelled.
I said a number of things I'm sorry I said..not because I said anything wrong.
I didn't say anything that was wrong or untrue or inaccurate.. but because of the way I said them.
And because of the fact that I know I am going to lose it every time we do this.
And when we got back.
CrazyFriend was meek and quiet. Subservient.
Now I know how the abusive guy feels when she just takes it.
When she won't call the police or seek help.
She's a doormat. She makes excuses.
She'll take any kind of abuse and then just go on as if it never happened.
I just hate being the guy.