Well, I must admit, this has been a very difficult month for me but what really concerns me is just how difficult it seems to be for my husband.
He has been very kind and helpful and done everything for me since I got hurt but I no idea how really difficult it is for him to do routine every day things and frankly, it is a little worrisome.
I am the one who would do all the mundane chores in the house laundry, feeding the animals, small repairs and running errands. I don't mind doing these things because I enjoy driving and I like staying busy and being active...even if it's a simple thing like getting a hamburger or going to WalMart.
Now I KNOW this has been very stressful for him.
This behavior has been magnified and intensified since I got hurt.
But I don't think it's anything new or different.
It's just that I can see more of it than I ever could before.
Now that he is the one who has to do almost all of those things, I can see that it is very hard for him. He doesn't like to get in the car and go places, he doesn't enjoy going to the store or shopping for even a little while, he doesn't seem to enjoy cleaning up this place or making it nicer, he doesn't WANT to do anything that doesn't involve sitting in front of the computer or the TV except occasionally going out to lunch, to the bookstore, to have dinner with his friend or shoot at the range.
He tries so hard to NOT expend one iota of energy extra and if he is forced to, he just gets frustrated and upset. Yesterday at lunch, I asked him to throw something in the trash for me (the trash can was literally 3 feet from him). Instead of throwing it away, he simply shoved it to the other side of the table (I could have done that....) and when I MADE him get up and throw it away he was very upset with me.
He won't take any extra steps or make any extra trips (he tries to carry in ALL the groceries in one trip if he possibly can and he tries to do everything he possibly can in on trip.
Now, I KNOW that he is a good guy and he is generous and he has been very patient with me since I got hurt and I am the one who normally does all the running around/ I cannot complain because he always gives me anything I want and he does just about everything I ask.
But his lack of energy (he slept 12 hours yesterday after we went into town to buy birdseed and take the dog to the vet), his lack of interest in things around him and general apathy about everything in the world is very worrisome to me.
If he had his way, he would seal up this house, turn on the air conditioning and stay in one place without ever moving except to get a glass of weak iced tea.
He is yawing constantly..
He would even let the dog sleep 23 hours a day if she didn't have to get up and pee every now and then.
It worries me. I want to be around people. I want to have activities. I feel like you should have some kind of a challenge every day. I think the dog should have a challenge every day, even if it's learning to sit up or chasing the cat. And when we don't I feel like a zombie.
I literally believe that this lack of activity is just turning our brains to mush and I don't like the way it feels. I know he would never admit it but I really think it is affecting him as much as it affect me and the dog.
Everything thing is slowing down.
I don't know where it will lead.
I don't know what to do.
Talk to him about it?
Maybe.
But it really does worry me. A lot.
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3 comments:
My Debbie just passed away and what took her a couple of hours to do takes me all day, get well soon, i know that bum leg makes it hard to get around
asking him if he wants to talk about it is a good idea
he might be feeling a bit depressed
I'm with Salem. I know tough guys don't talk about feelings, but you could be sneaky about it...If you ask him what's wrong, you know he'll say, "nothing." But maybe if you ask him what a friend can do for you all to take some of the pressure off him, he'll give you a clue as to what it is that he REALLY hates to do. Also, he sounds like my husband: TOTALLY and completely spoiled. We have to take some responsibility for the way they are...as much as I hate to admit that.
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