So black is the new.....well, black.

Okay.....here I am back with a tentative post.

I must admit, I have not missed having this blog and I am entering this somewhat reluctantly.



But here is what has changed. I felt burned out, wiped out and overwhelmed. I am still feeling much of the same and you can add on depressed, claustrophobic and bored to that list. But I am trying to do things a little differently now. I don't know if it will help or not.



I found myself overwhemled with the staggering number of clothes I own. When I was getting dressed the other day, I was trying to decide between the blue shirt, the striped shirt, the green shirt, the purple shirt. And then the jeans. Or the shorts. Or the capris. And I said this is ridiculous. I said enough was enough. I went for black dress pants and a black tank top. Y'know what? I liked it. SO......I immediately boxed up ALL of my polos and t-shirts and tanks. I kept out 3 black t0shirts that I really like. I went to the Goodwill store where I do all my shopping and bought 2 nice black polo shirts and on plain black t-shirt. And at WalMart, I bought a really nice black Danskin tank for $3. Now, all of the polos and t shirts that were driving me crazy are boxed up and will probably wind up taking a trip to the Goodwill store in the near future. I am MUCH happier with the new black.



I also tried to talk to hubby about why I am so unhappy. I tried to explain that I am tired of living in a dark air conditioned claustrophobic cave with no air circulation and no natural light and no comfortable place to sit or to watch TV. And I am tired of sleeping in a room that sounds like it is at then end of a runway of a small airport (3 fans running and the heat pump cranking right outside my window...) He tried to be understanding although I don't beilieve he "got it" entirely. But at least I said my piece.



And.....this is the worst for me. I am trying to cut down on my spending. That means no lunches out 7 days a week, no long trips into town for no reason other than I am bored.No long road trips and no weeknights at the Holiday Inn just to get out of town. I have treid to cut down on my impulse buying. So far, so good but it is soooooooo hard. Staying here all day with nothing but busy work to do (see paragraph above) and not getting out just for the sake of getting out. But I am trying. Hard.



So that is what I have changed.

I guess only time will tell how it works out.

Good luck to me.

This Blog is Going on Hiatus

Okay..here's the deal:

I had a really bad weekend.

Things did NOT go as planned and I had (and I will use this term reluctantly because I HATE it) a bit of am emotional "meltdown".

I was exhausted and disappointed in myself.

I have kinda had it for a while and I just need a break.

I realized that it's not always easy to do the things you want, no matter how much you think want to do them.

And I was overwhelmed by WalMart.

I realized that we are completely surrounded by STUFF.

Useless, unnecessary, pointless stuff that we really have no need for in our lives.

We are overrun by stuff and things.

SO

I am taking a break.

From blogging.

From the computer

From ranting about CrazyFriend.

I just need to clear my head.

I'll be back, eventually but I just need things to settle down in my head.

I will be taking a much needed sabbatical.

I have had it with stuff.

I need a rest.

My brain needs to cool off.

Living In Bizzaro World

Well, I had lunch with CrazyFriend today.
I wanted it to be pleasant and I was trying to help her out.
She wanted to take her car (a classic 1972 Chevy Nova) to our mechanic.
And I wanted to take her to lunch for her birthday.

Once again, I thought we could have a simple, pleasant day.
But it NEVER seems to work out that way.
And apparently, my husband has figured out why.
She is living in Bizarro World.

The things that make perfect sense to her (in Bizarro World) infuriate me.
It makes me go ballistic.
I TRY not to, I really do.
But hubby is right.
It is Bizarro World.
Black is white.
White is black.
Nothing makes sense when you are trying to have a conversation with someone who is living full time in Bizarro World.

The issue, of course, is the controlling, isolating, manipulative generally nasty guy that she has allowed to live in and totally take over everything she own.
This is the charmer who is isolating her from her friends and family.
Driving her other (and much newer car). Spending her money.
Controlling her life.
He brings less-than-reputable seedy characters ("the guys") to her house in a very expensive, upscale neighborhood so they can take showers and get their laundry done (which she does).
She has no control over who he brings over and has no idea who they are or what they are doing.
But I guess that's the way it is in Bizarro World.

.
She has to sneak around him because if she wants to do something, he goes ballistic.
Even though it is her money or her car or her house or whatever.
But I guess that's the way it is in Bizarro World.

Trying to have a reasonable, rational conversation with her (if you don't happen to be living in Bizarro World) is frustrating at best and virtually impossible at worst.

I am supposed to have lunch with her again tomorrow.
I will TRY not to go ballistic.
I will just keep repeating "Bizarro World".

I am talking to someone who is living in Bizarro World.

Bizarro World
It is Bizarro World.
Bizarro World.

Black is white.
Yes is No
Up is down.
Nothing is as it seems.

HUBBY WAS RIGHT (now what part of Bizarro World is that??)

The Four Things

The Four Things I Want To Buy This Month:

1) Small Coleman cook stove (PX) $34.95
2) Small bright Coleman lantern (Dick's Sporting Goods) $24.95
3) 10x12 Ground tarp (PX) $12.95
4) Small Pick axe (Home Depot) $23.95


I am going to go rockhounding at a working mine. And I am going on at least one camping trip,

Trimming the Parrot's Toenails

Well, it wasn't an easy task but I finally found the opportunity and was finally able to trim Tito's toenails.

He is pretty good about it, once he gets the idea that that's all I want to do. But if for some reason, he decides he doesn't want it done, you might as well forget it. With a razor sharp beak like that you do NOT want to mess with him.

But we were sitting quietly watching TV and I had the nail clipper in my hand and I just matter-of-factly reached over and picked up his foot. He let me clip his nails. Yay!

I've been wanting to do that for ages. I just needed the perfect moment.

Today was okay.

We went to lunch and to the range.

Hubby had to drop his truck off at the mechanic's on the way in. He took it in last week for a $30 oil change and the mechanic (who we trust) discovered a $500 repair that needed to be done. Yippee.

So we dropped the truck off and headed into town for lunch.

Lunch was okay...not as good as usual or maybe I just wasn't that hungry.

We had Bento boxes at a little Japanese place.

They are usually yummy but I think I was feeling very cranky.

When we got to the range, one of our friends who I usually like a lot just annoyed the crap out of me. I was actually getting a little angry with him. He was just bugging me and I wasn't in the mood. I get very tired of guys and their clever remarks ( I KNOW it's a guy thing because hubby does it all the time). They think they are being cute. I just think they are being annoying and it wasn't making me happy.

I shot my gun a little and listened to our state trooper friend tell us a couple of stories and then we just came on home. We didn't stop to wander around or buy stuff or anything. We picked Cookie up from day care, stopped back at the mechanic (hubby needed to talk to him) and then we came home.

It was an okay day but I think I just wasn't feeling it today.

I was going to call CrazyFriend and ask her to go to lunch tomorrow, but frankly, I just can't bring myself to do that right now. I like having friends and I like having company.......sometimes.

But as I discovered this weekend, I am quite happy doing things on my own. I took a 200 mile road trip on Saturday and thoroughly enjoyed myself. And Sunday, I took a long walk in the park by myself and I was fine and happy. Sometimes dragging people (especially annoying people ) along can just be a pain.

That's it. We had dinner ( hubby had the last of his 3 day roast_ I had a cheese omelet with grits and I am done for the evening. I guess I just not feeling 100% today. Cranky, irritable, I don't know. But we are here and it is getting towards evening. At least I am not ready to go to bed at 7:00 like I did the last 3 nights.

Oh well.......Maybe tomorrow will be better.

As long as I don't break down and call CrazyFriend.

I don't think I'm up to that.

Hey, I look pretty good...

Well, I was quite surprised yesterday.
CrazyFriend brought over the pictures that she took on our recent trip to Florida.
(Yes the trip where Suzie and I nearly killed her because she was being such a total pain...)
But the pictures were very nice and I was pleased because I actually look pretty darn good.
I HATE having my picture taken but I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised.
I guess my signature butch lesbian duck hunter look works for me.
I didn't look fat.
My jeans fit.
And my Missy Good hat looks great.
Now I really like the hat.
And I am very happy with the way I look in the pictures.
Dang.

I don't have to talk to that bitch....

Okay.......
It looks like CrazyFriend's "relationship" with her "boyfriend" (insert: con man, freeloader, sleazebag creep and generally scary guy) has taken a bit of a dark turn.
We've always known that he is greedy, exploitive and manipulative. The only reason that he has anything to do with her is because she is providing him with a very nice place to live in one of the most expensive subdivisions in town, a very nice car and money whenever he needs it. He is no longer even bothering with the facade of going out to eat with her or going to church with her. He comes and goes, brings strangers to the house and is just doing whatever he damn well pleases.
And he is becoming evem more manipulative and controlling.

Last week when we went to Florida, he told her "I don't understand why you want to hang around with that butch lesbian.." That would be me. (Hey, I didn't think I was that butch. Damn.) And he turns everything around to make it someone else's fault. It's never anything he does that's wrong.

And this week was even MORE interesting.

.
On Saturday, I told CrazyFriend I just needed a break from her and her constant discussion of her "boyfriend and 'the guys' " (Don't ask. It gets entirely too complicated. I was exhausted and I just couldn't take it anymore. She got VERY upset with me and slammed the phone down. wouldn't talk to me. Okay....No biggie. That's all happened before. She'd get over it.

But I did e-mail another mutual friend and told her what happened. I explained everything and asked her to give CrazyFriend a call just to talk to her and try and get her to talk me.

So the mutual friend did call her. This morning at her house.
Well......The "boyfriend" (you know what to insert here.) answered the phone.
When he heard our friend's voise asking for CrazyFriend....he said nothing and HUNG UP THE PHONE>
When she called back, he would not answer.
Eventually, we got a hold of CrazyFriend and she was her usual bubbly self (Insert DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt).
And here is what she told me he said when she asked him WHY he hung up the phone.
He told her "I DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO THAT BITCH....."

Now, I am sorry but if that isn't abusive, isolating, manipulative, and controlling I don't know what is. AND SHE CONTINUES TO TAKE IT.

So I am now the butch lesbian.
And our mutual friend is the nosy bitch.
It is getting honestly scary.
I don't think CrazyFriend will EVER get out of this mess unscathed.